I was given a blessing when Chas was in the hospital a year ago that instructed me that I was to have hope.I had been trying to grapple realistically with what a 33% chance that he would never speak again meant. To be realistic and face the numbers head-on felt wise. To hope seemed naive.
Now I'm in a position again of needing to hope, but I don't know what that means.
Does hope mean to act a sentiment of light-heartedness until I feel it sincerely? Fake it 'till you make it?
Does it mean to trust that it will all be all right in the end? The so-far-away eternal end? Well I know that, and it doesn't quite feel like hope.
Does it mean to wish?
Does it mean to pray? Because one of the things that an understanding of the gospel brings is a knowledge that trials, even severe ones, are in the Lord's plan for us and that they will strengthen us. Prayer brings us to the Lord, but it doesn't tend to eliminate trials (Joseph of Egypt or Nephi or Joseph Smith, for example.)
Is it to expect that Dallin will get a job soon enough that our lives aren't disrupted?
Is it to feign certainty that Chas will not grow another brain tumour?
Is it to count on everyone else's confidence that my children will turn out fine?
Is it just to endure challenges cheerfully?
I have heard that it is to anticipate a positive outcome and prepare for a negative one. That feels like a cop-out. In other words, they don't know what it means either, so let's just cover both bases to be safe.
Is hope in the scriptures really only about hope in the saving power of Christ? I do have complete confidence in that power. And it is an anchor to my soul. And it keeps me from despair in this and all other trials. So is that all? Just sit tight and it will all be OK decades from now.
Jeremiah says we should hope and "quietly wait" on the Lord.
Jacob says that he wrote the words of scriptures hoping that his children would receive them with thankful hearts. Many did not.
Moroni, Alma, President Uchtdorf and others say that hope and faith and charity come together.
In Psalms it says that hope is about not forgetting the Lord's works and keeping his commandments.
Maybe hope is just continuing to be aware of the Lord and to do what's right while we wade through stuff.
4 comments:
Sariah,
I don't have an answer for "What is hope", but I do know that through the atonement, our burdens can be made light. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm just continually hoping that I'll survive the challenges I've been given. The amazing part is that by hoping for mere survival I've actually run into happiness in the midst of my tribulations. (Not all the time of course, but there are wonderful windows.)
As for hope in the middle of this financial crisis? I just hope my family will always be together and everything else is just a bonus . . . like keeping the house or eating fresh food.
j
Some questions are so deep, but still beg answering. When you were a little girl, you asked me how our spirits got to heaven when we died. I told you I didn't really know, but that Heavenly Father knew and that he would tell you how when you needed to know. You were actually quiet for a short time and then you told me that you thought that you knew how to do it. "You just climb a tree and go up from there!" Hope is NOT just a wish. It is trusting that until the whole answer becomes clear, there will be reasonable possibilities presented to our minds and spirits - because the Lord is aware of our search.
Love your questions.
Love you.
Love,
Mom
Oh I love your mom's response. And I so loved pretending I was still a teenager chatting with you late into the night last night.
Do you think that the hope you were blessed to have was not hope that everything would work out peachy keen with Chas, but hope that the Lord was aware of what you were going through and would succor you through it all? Maybe hope is having faith that all the icky "stuff" you have to wade through is all part of the big-picture plan and will morph eventually into eternal peachy-keen as you rely on the Lord. In your case, I'm picturing a perfectly beautiful AND yummy eternal strawberry pie that your whole family will share with you. Can I have a slice too?
Post a Comment