What Would We Do Without Her?

I was 11, sitting on my bed in Grandma Barbara's house reading the New Era. It was the issue with the annual writing/photo/music contest winners. The article was written by a sister in a family full of adopted kids. She described making 18 peanut butter sandwiches in the morning. I felt the smallest stirring in that moment that said, Adoption is a good way to form families.

That feeling came and went for more than a decade, all the while growing in intensity and clarity.

By the time Dallin and I were dating I felt a certainty that our family would be formed by adoption. Dallin had a similar journey with the Spirit.

When I became pregnant with Naomi I felt shocked. What about all of those feelings about adoption? Wasn't that all preparation for forming our family in a different way? But by now the stirring turned feeling was a yearning.

I went to the library and checked out books on adoption. I read websites. Dallin and I talked. And we prayed. Always we prayed.

Then suddenly, in a whirlwind of decisions piloted by Providence we found ourselves settled in Canada and seated in a chapel with a woman talking about adoption at the podium. Every feeling of 13 years culminated in that moment. When she finished and slipped into the hall, I chased her down. Literally.

No longer a stirring or a feeling, the yearning became a consuming, rushing, driving force. From that moment until nine months later we filled out paperwork, took pictures, met with social workers, dug money out of the woodwork, and prayed. Pleading, yearning, guided prayers.

And then it was August and she was coming. And she would be ours. And then it was September and she was born. And she was ours. And all the thoughts and longings of more than a decade were satisfied with this one miraculous child.

What a long, careful road we were led down to find her. For so many years. Why was it so important to have this child in our family? Why did she come to our family in this way? Why was Heavenly Father so involved in getting her to us?

Within moments we knew that Eliza would change our family dramatically. She is a peacemaker. She is an optimist. She has a magnetism unlike anything I've ever seen. She never forgets to pray for Chas, long after the rest of us have become complacent. She softens conflict. She brings hope. She restores the Spirit to our home. She is a gift to us. It's no wonder we call her, Grace. It's no wonder the Lord knew we needed her!