Who Are The Lost Ten Tribes of Israel?

Are they the ten that formed the Northern Kingdom of Israel, everyone except Judah and Benjamin, and were later scattered?

 

Are they the ones we don't really know where their descendants are (from patriarchal blessings, actual genealogy, etc.)?  Everyone except Ephraim and Judah?

 

Are they the tribes that are neither Reuben (lost his birthright) nor Levi (birthright became temple service)?

 

Or are they ones we don't have records of, everyone except Judah (Bible) and Manasseh (Book of Mormon)?

 

Or are they the people who don't believe in Christ because "true believers in Christ, regardless of their lineage or geographical location" are of the House of Israel? (Bible Dictionary)

 

Try asking this question in Sunday School.  It becomes a mess of theories.

Where Does Three Months Go Overnight?

I should try sleeping less. 


(For a blurry wish-we-had-a-different-camera-and-a-better-photographer view of the last three months see 1000 Words a Day.)

Just When You Think It Can't Possibly Get Any Worse

Your husband puts his knee through the sunroof. 

No stitches necessary.

Just a lot of duct tape.


This van is good for my funny bone. 

When Am I Going to Be Old Enough...

...to Not Care If Anyone Sees Me Running?

Not to run faster when someone is watching?

And not suck in when I wear a swimming suit?

Not to throw things into a laundry basket and hide them in my closet before someone comes to my house?

From a woman who lived to be 92:

"Fifty was my favorite age. It takes about that long to learn to quit competing--to be yourself and settle down to living. It is the age I would like to be through all eternity." Marjorie Pay Hinckley

How many books is too many to take for a week in Mexico?

I've decided on ten, plus the scriptures and a Spanish dictionary.

On second thought, I think I'll leave The House of the Seven Gables for when I get home.  It looks like the cover may fall off. 

The Worst Feeling in The World

is yelling at your kid just before they go to school.


And It's Worser

to yell at them in public just before they go to school.


And It's the Worstest

to find out when they come home that they are sick and were probably acting like rotten kids because they felt crummy and that that's probably why you were acting like a rotten mom, too. 

He's got fame.

Now all he needs is fortune.

(see my 13 year-old husband in this video:)
http://www.woodbusiness.ca/component/option,com_seyret/Itemid,143/id,78/task,videodirectlink/

A van with bald tires

and a dented back panel
that is three months overdue for an oil change
on which our (middle-aged) friend wrote "wash me please"
that has leftover lunches
and forgotten school notices
and almost every jacket we own strewn all over the floor
(and probably all of the lost soothers too)

can still be home to a rockin' dance party
consisting of one six year old
his laughing baby brother
and the mother he still thinks is pretty cool.

Rock on.

When you ground a kid for a week

does it include church activities? 

Any thoughts?

the Baby woke up at 2:30 in the morning

ate some yogurt
and spaghetti
lay back down in his crib
and pulled his favourite yellow afghan over his face

then as I tiptoed out of the room
he pulled the afghan down and
asked in one pathetic syllable
whether I was leaving

"Shhh.  Mommy's still here,"
I said
and up went the afghan again

every two or three minutes
down came the afghan
and out came the plaintive cry

"Mommy's still here."
and up went the afghan again

he couldn't see me,
but checking in every few minutes
he learned to trust that I was still there

at 3:00 in the morning
I was very grateful to be someone's mommy

I wake up all through the day
fold some laundry
wipe a counter
and send my pleading cry

faintly I hear,
"I am still here"

I can't see Him,
but checking in every few minutes
I am learning to trust that He is still there

at 3:30 in the morning
I am very grateful to be Someone's daughter

once you've waited in line

paid your money
buckled your seatbelt
and been told to keep you arms and legs inside

you're in for the ride
like it or not

let me know when this ride's over

i want to get off

either we are becoming better friends,

or I am becoming a worse housekeeper

because everytime you come to visit
my house is at a lower standard of "clean"

I'm glad you're coming.
Please don't wear your glasses.

I used to believe

that babies were blank slates

that anyone could learn to play the piano

that everyone could carry a tune

that I wanted to be a farmer

that I liked animals

that I was organized

that I would have a clean house


I guess I was wrong.  Shucks!

"The gospel of Jesus Christ matters more than anything else."

"We value you as an individual, not just as one of the pack."

"We adore you whichever way you are, you don't always have to be easy and lovely and cheerful and helpful and peaceful (although, we love you that way too.)"

"There is a living prophet."

"Following his counsel will make our lives happier."

"Your decision to be baptized was a critical, wonderful step."

"Stay on the path forever and ever because it is so much easier and happier than all the other alternatives."

"We would give you all the money and time in the world if it were possible."

"Keep up your dilligent music studies--you'll be so glad you did."

"We are proud of you."

"We are grateful for you and the long road that brought you to us."

"Don't be so quiet that you get lost." 

"Please be quiet enough to keep setting a good example for the rest of the firecrackers in our family."

"Don't do drugs.  Don't drop out.  Don't date until you're 25.  Don't live in our basement at 30.  Don't move too far away.  Marry someone wonderful in the temple.  Accept callings.  Let your talents bless all the people around you."


Eliza, you had 72 hours.  Did you get it all?  Because we tried to cram it all in.  That and much much more. 


Please don't forget.

I think I understand

why the pioneers

kept putting one foot in front of the other

for so many hundreds of miles

in spite of so many miseries.

I think, maybe,

they didn't know

what else to do.

Nobody Pee

• My office floor is empty
• My desk is cleared off
• The car is cleaned out
• The lawn is mowed
• The bottom of the stairwell is painted
• The bathrooms are all clean
• The garbages are emptied
• The pool is winterized
• The dining room is tidy
• The TV room is tidy
• The Primary invitations are made
• I take bread to Sister Doerksen
• I call the people I visit teach
• The windows are all clean
• All of the miscellaneous baskets in my house are emptied

I'm getting happier and happier. 

Just, please, no one use the bathrooms
until the rest of my list is finished.

I'll Be Happy When...

• My office floor is empty

• My desk is cleared off

• The car is cleaned out

• The lawn is mowed

• The bottom of the stairwell is painted

• The bathrooms are all clean

• The garbages are emptied

• The pool is winterized

• The dining room is tidy

• The TV room is tidy

• The Primary invitations are made

• I take bread to Sister Doerksen

• I call the people I visit teach

• The windows are all clean

• All of the miscellaneous baskets in my house are emptied


I know I'll be happy then.  I just know it.

OK, Jodi, Merinda, Mom, and Shelley,

You can read my thoughts again

If you promise not to expect enlightenment
or insight,
or optimism,
or humour,
or consistency,
or everything in the form of a question.

OK?  Ok. 

Let this post serve as a reminder to me

to never have an opinion. Or at least not think I ever know what someone else could or should do.

I was a newly wed. I had money for cute haircuts. I was working for way more money than I needed, and considering other jobs with much lower salaries just for the potential enjoyment of them.

I stood in the doorway of a mid-life accountant, with a couple of teenagers at home, a too-large mortgage + reno payment to make, and a straggly no-style haircut adorning her worn out face. She told me of the great retirement package that kept her in a job she disliked. She told me of how it was too late to make a career change, or even a job change. She described trapped, stuck, discouraged feelings. She sounded hopeless.

I cheerfully explained to her how it was never too late to change where we are. I encouraged her to leave her dissatisfying job behind and strike out into something she would enjoy (I didn't bother with the arithmetic that would leave her without mortgage payment every month.) I threw together trite phrases about worlds and oysters and admonished her to live the Nike slogan.

As I walked away, I left very saddened for her limiting mental state that kept her caged in an unhappy life, and grateful for my much better way of viewing the world full of endless potential for me to be successful on every path.

Now, as I get closer and closer to mid-life land, with a too-large mortgage payment, and a no-style haircut, I'm sorry I ever opened my naive know-it-all mouth. I get it now. And I would gratefully trade my life of exciting potential success (rife with business loans that can use the word "million" in them) for a boring, trapped, great-retirement package job.

But our decisions have a way of putting us on a path that goes only forward, even if it's off a cliff. Backing up is great in theory but doesn't always work in reality.

Loveit, I'm sorry I ever gave you useless, demeaning counsel. I hope you've gone on to a comfortable retirement full of grandkids and dandelion bouquets and it is all the sweeter for the thorny path that led you there.

"You Could Keep A Kosher Kitchen,"

Noa said, "because you have two sinks." She is my lovely Jewish friend from Israel. She is not orthodox, but just Jewish "because I'm Jewish."

Her sister, on the other hand, lives a completely orthodox Jewish life, complete with two sinks and two sets of dishes. Her sister doesn't accidentally let her skin brush against her husband's as they pass in the hallway during her unclean time. Her sister has kept having children until she finally had a girl (child number 7) because she must have both sons and daughters unless specifically given permission by the Rabbi not to.

I could listen to Noa describe her sister's life endlessly. Noa always describes her with love and a shrug of the shoulders. I always listen torn between completely relating to the sister's way of life that seems so extreme to others and feeling that a lot of the steps (or limiting them on the Sabbath) are completely ridiculous.

And as I scrubbed my second little sink today that would allow me to live an orthodox and Kosher life, I wondered what practices I may have adopted in an effort to follow the Saviour that might be completely ridiculous too.

I Think It's Working

Chas's daily prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please make Mark grow up really fast so that we can do cool boy stuff and he can sleep in my room soon. Bless him not to be a baby anymore. Make him a big boy quick, please.

Amen

I think it's working. Darn it.

Chas, stop praying, OK?


(Chas and Mark having a sword fight.)



Homemade Taco Seasoning is Disgusting.

Why did I have to quadruple the recipe?

"Did You Wash Your Hands?"

"Yep. I did it while I was going to the bathroom.
I can reach the sink from the toilet."

"You mean, before you wiped?!"

"Uh-huh."

Efficiency gone wrong. Gross!

Why is it So Much Harder

to have him around, but not available,
than it is to not have him around?

It must be about expectations. Or attitude maybe.

Life is Really Getting Great...

when you can sit down on a Saturday night with your ten year old and enjoy the same chick flick together.

Two Epiphanies

The Thing I Am Most Grateful For...

is to have been born to parents who are genuine, loving, intelligent, reasonable people. People who are down-to-earth and emotionally stable. Ordinary and without drama. Cheerful and open. Honest and kind. A mother who taught me the gospel and a father who showed me how it can change your life. This is a gift in my life which impacts every moment of every day.


And The Best Decision I Have Ever Made...

Hands down, the best decision I ever made was the day I said I would marry a man who prioritized the gospel above everything else.

Not in a the-best-decision-I-ever-made-was-to-marry-the-hunk-of-a-dreamboat-that-I-did sort of way. But in the way that I decided what would matter most to me in the dreamboats (some of them not so much) that I did look at.

It was the moment when Dallin and I were dancing and he said that his friend had all these ambitions and dreams that he couldn't understand. I asked him what his dreams were. His answer changed the course of my life. He said, "My dream is to live the Gospel. I just want to follow the Saviour. That's all."

Well, that's all. And it makes all the difference in my world. It doesn't guarantee a successful business, or well-behaved children, or a house or a yard that look reasonable. It doesn't guarantee that no one will have a brain tumour, or a learning disability, or anything else. But it fills me with confidence and unifies us and prevents the myriad of marriage sinking difficulties that I see around us. Thank God!

How Could I Possibly Know What You Should Do With Your Life...

...when I can't even figure out my own?

Could we all just cut each other a little slack?

I'm convinced we're all faking it. None of us know how to raise kids or create ideal marriages or be amazing friends.

Certainty is a big facade.  Let's all be open about it. 

My Favorite Household Chore Is...

Vacuuming up spiders.



I got a 4-inch one today.

It's like Murder She Wrote.

Except I'm the criminal; not the Angela Lansbury.

It's very satisfying. In a creepy sort of way.

Has My Blog Always Been Yellow to All of You?

We got a new computer monitor and now my lovely hot cocoa with way too much cream in it is a banana-lemon freezie.

Why didn't anyone say anything?

Do I have something stuck in my teeth too?

I can't trust any of you.

Every Now and Then...

I want to blog even though I have nothing to say.
.
.
.
.
There. I said it.