2014

2014

Friday, June 14, 2013

Brooksish

as in Spanish, Swedish, Finnish... 

After a while, you develop your own dialect.  At the Tower of Babel languages divided families from each other.  In our case, our dialect, in a strange way, unifies us. 

Famine--The tendency of all 13 boxes of tissues around the house to run empty at approximately the same time.

Binge--Mom's current fad of cooking cuisine. That is, all Mexican food for a month, sushi every week for six months, fondue twice a week for the summer. 

Concoction--Attempting to hide vegetables or fruit in a smoothie drink or muffin mix.  Concoctions' rate of success is 50%.

"Probably watered down"--The polite thing to say when something tastes awful.

"That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard"--"That's what I just said," or "That was my idea first."

"It's probably a tumeh (tumor)." -- "It's hypochondria."

The Abyss--The roaming location that swallows things like putty knives, nail clippers, thermometers, and other essentials. 

Mt. Everest--The ridiculously high, didn't-we-have-a-warranty? middle of our king size bed that is at least 8 inches higher in elevation than the sides of the bed.


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

I Went to the Dentist Today

It turns out that flossing is still all the rage.

Too bad.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Not when I water the daisies

or the hydrangeas
or the the day lillies.

Not when I water the zucchini
or the carrots
or the pumpkins.

But when I water the roses,
I miss my grandmother.
She said roses like water.

And a lot of other wise things that stick with me.



Thursday, June 6, 2013

The Price of Being a Therapist

9 O'Clock PM. 
Front Yard.
Chaos inside.




It's good to go to therapy. And it's good to be a therapist. 
It's probably therapeutic for the neighbors too.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

American Medical Association Recommendations

I went to the Doctor today for an annual (read--first time ever) physical.

Apparently the annual Pap Smears that I've been avoiding are now recommended only once every five years.  I've been right on schedule then.

Also, those monthly "breast self-exams" with the little laminated charts in the shower that seem like such a waste of time, are, in fact, actually a waste of time.

I told her I was ahead of my time.

Next week I have a dentist appointment.  I bet he's going to tell me that flossing is a thing of the past. 

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Getting my kids to clean the house

leaves me feeling like not a very nice person.