Sorrow and Wonder

When children are shot at school
And when bombs explode at a marathon
When tsunamis swallow up cities
Or a baby drowns in the tub

I wonder how people survive the sorrow

without understanding the eternal purpose and the relative brevity of life on earth.


I wonder how they find hope in a world so violent

without a certainty that God will reclaim the earth again and restore peace.


I wonder how they find comfort in their pain

without prayer and the Holy Ghost.


Because even with all of these things, I find it hard to keep going.

The Two Best Weekends of the Year

General Conference

A buoy to my heart.

An anchor to my life.

Growing Discrepancy

When he was four and ran with a patter-patter-skip it wasn't so different than all the other four-year-olds' goofy gaits.  When he was five and couldn't ride a bike, well neither could most of the kindergartners.  When he was six and didn't say any R's or L's or blended sounds of any kind, he had company.  And so on. 

But as time goes by, he's getting left behind with his bike standing dusty in the garage and so many sounds still alluding him.

As I watched him run down the basketball court yesterday, his differences were accentuated by the fact that he hasn't been feeling well and by comparison to the court full of other eight-year-old boys.

Sometimes I felt weepy watching him. The differences between his physical skills and his peers' are growing not narrowing.  Then I'd shake my head and think, this was the kid we worried would be strapped in a wheel chair and mute.  Here he is running, crookedly and awkwardly, but running nonetheless. And then I'd feel weepy all over again. 

Thank goodness we'll be back to watching soccer games in the rain soon.  Easier to cry without being noticed.

 

I've recently taken up exercising,

and I've decided that it's not the exercising itself that is so bad,

it's the extra time needed for the showers and naps to recuperate
that swallow my whole day that stink. 

I think I'll take up napping instead.  No exercise or shower required. 

Proven Again

That anything that works with 3-year-olds will work with Seminary Students.

This was the vehicle that took us from the thoroughly furnished barbie house out to do our good works. 

I love Seminary Students!

Too Close for Comfort

The day after he proposed to me, Dallin was thrown from the back window of his pick-up truck and pinned underneath in the snow.  They super-glued his arm together and he was disappointed he didn't get a bigger scar.

At a few months old, I found Naomi under the water in our bathtub.  She was fine, but I cried for 8 hours straight. 

With three kids in the van, we flipped it over on icy roads and were suspended upside down from our seat belts while I asked whether everyone was fine.  The milli-second until they all answered was an eternity.

At Christmastime, Mark walked up two flights of stairs to find me while he was choking (not breathing) on a frozen strawberry. 

This week, Naomi dropped an extinguished match into her garbage can full of tissues.  Next time she looked, it was in full flame next to her bookcase.  Ten minutes later my biggest disappointment were the small holes in the new carpet. 

And last week, with Dallin less than 3 feet away, Mark pushed out the screen on Chas's second story window and landed unconscious on the deck 20 feet below. Two ambulance rides, two hospitals, and two days later we were home with a glow-in-the-dark cast on his arm and a sore, healthy, whole kid.

Thank God! Again!

The Law of Sacrifice

Living the law

one midnight tri-fold-board project at a time.

Mission Accomplished

Tuesdays are the crazy day.  Today was crazier still with no Dallin, two timing changes, and an extra errand.  I announced the harried Tuesday schedule at Family Home Evening yesterday.  I reminded everyone in the morning of the plan.  I repeated the sequence of events to myself frequently through the day to ensure I had it.  I made everyone their own personalized list of things they must do with no mother there to remind them--things like put on your basketball shorts, eat dinner, practice the piano, and walk to swimming lessons.  On my first trip out the door with three kids in tow, I scratched out the drop-off/pick-up schedule because I felt sure I might confuse a drop-off or a pick-up somewhere along the line and Eliza would be left at the basketball court with her violin or Naomi would be abandoned at swimming lessons to walk home dripping in her swimming suit.

I got everyone everywhere.  On time.  Cheerfully.  And I miraculously remembered it was garbage day and took the garbage out. 

Hooray for me!  Good thing I wasn't fired yesterday, after all.

No Other Job in The World

I can't imagine any job in the world that I could work at for 24 hours a day, for 12 1/2 years, with almost no vacation time, or sick leave...

A job that I would desperately desire to be successful at and pour my soul and 100% of my energies into...

And yet, I would still feel like a failure.

Any other job, if I failed for 12 1/2 years,

would fire me. 

Joy in a Vase

Thank you, Wanda!

Happiness is having a dog...

for two and a half days.

Fix it up,

wear it out,

make it do,

or do without. 

(Thank you, Grandma Barbara.)

Eggs, Basket...

Meet Marko.

I Heard it Again Today

Chas's reading teacher said how much Lucy looks like Eliza.

I hear it all the time.  I love to hear it.  Eliza loves to hear it as well. 

The ones who know, say it with a question mark.  The ones who don't, say it with certainty.

The funny thing is that their temperament and likes are the same as well.  They are both calm and gentle and flexible.  They both are infatuated with dogs and stuffed animals.  They both love to look at books and do puzzles.

It makes me wonder if it simply means that all Caucasians share some physical characteristics that could be interpreted as similarities? 

Or are people cut from a cloth that includes both temperament and appearance and because they are alike in one category it makes them alike in the other? 

Someone suggested that people begin to look like their families, so Eliza has had ten years of developing into looking like us and Lucy genetically looks like us.  Our looks are contagious? It sounded weird. 

My most probable working theory is that our spirits contain who we are, both looks and temperament, and that we are grouped into families that have common spiritual heritage. (Whatever that might mean.)  So, we are like our own families no matter how we joined them.

Anyway, I heard it again today.
And it warmed my heart as it always does.

Honesty

Honesty, for me, sometimes gets all muddled.

I wonder if honesty should be sacrificed in my fight against cynicism.

And I wonder if "fake it 'till you make it" is a reasonable, albeit dishonest, strategy for optimism, good parenting, wisdom, charitable service, and many other of my pursuits. 

I hate fine lines, grey areas, and muddles.

Umm...I mean...fine lines, grey areas, and muddles are an opportunity for growth and I'm grateful when
they come my way.  See?  so peppy, it's just downright dishonest.

(PS--"Muddles" is what Marko calls "puddles."  Whenever we put on his monkey boots he says, "Now I can jump in Muddles.")

Humpty Dumpty

Thank you, Dallin.  (You Genius!)

American Proverb

Don't Put All Your Eggs in One Basket.

This Basket had:

all my photos for the last 7 months
my camera
the family calendar
our ward directory
the grocery lists
the codes for many online accounts
the notes for all the school meetings, cub scout meetings, etc.
my budget
multiplication flashcards
music note flash cards
our family phone
everyone's phone numbers
my new year's resolutions (good riddance)


All my eggs went into a sink full of water yesterday.  All the king's horses and all the king's men can't put these eggs back together again. 

The Lost Years

2011 and 2012

In those years, Dallin's company died a painful death.

Lucy was born in a pitosin-laden-torpedo.

We sold our house.

6/7ths of us moved to Utah and 1/7th of us moved to Dale's house.

Sariah got a part-time job. 

Chas won 1st place in the Pinewood Derby.

Naomi went to two girls camps and moved on both birthdays.

Eliza added the flute, the violin, and the recorder to her piano studies.

Marko didn't learn to talk and started speech therapy.

Dallin found a perfect new job.

We sadly left Canada behind.

We lived in a hotel for a month.

All with almost no photos, no blog, and no journal. 

So, it's time to get back on the horse. Giddyup!

Starting Fresh

Welcome back to my blog.

The Abyss

It's the same place we lose putty knives, fingernail clippers, scissors, money, hair elastics, and game timers.

It just swallowed up two years.  Good Riddance.  Who needs those years anyway?

Is this Blog Worth $76.75?

And now that I've asked that question in print, am I ever going to let Dallin read it?

Well,  it's off to the presses.  2009 - 2011 in all its imperfections and insecurities.

Final Questions

Is it OK to be an Ostrich?

Is it helpful to follow the drama of the news?

Do all punishments punish the mother more than the child?

What percent of my life is supposed to be bliss?

Why do I ever let my kids stay up past bedtime?

Did I actually get a degree? 

Did I fake my way through Statistics?

Does voting make any difference at all?

Can a person who hates shopping successfully own a house?

Can we ever do "all we can do?"

What did Earth Life Prep look like?

Do my kids think I love serving in the church?

Is my mother right about me?

Why can’t my mother be right about me?

Is it hypocrisy to teach things I often don’t live?

When will I develop a sense of humour?

Do my kids know I like them?

Is it the thought that counts?

What will I do with myself when, one day, the laundry is all done?

How does Heavenly Father really want us to share the gospel?

Is it possible to own too many books?

Does anyone else fantasize about a fire destroying all their worldly possessions?

Can I throw away every toy in our house?

Will it be all right in the end?

Can it be all right now?

Is printing a blog a good idea, or would it be better to let it die in Cyber-Space?

Happy Mother's Day

A Thought on Mother's Day

"Modern motherhood isn't hard; it's impossible. There are just simply not enough hours in the day to do everything. I'm serious. It's a rigged game. Add up the time it would take to do all the things you think you need to do—from dinner to quality time to soccer practice plus a good night's sleep—and if it comes out to less than 24 hours, then you are on the right track. If like, in my life, it adds up to 32 or 36, than it's time to give ourselves the only gift we really need this Mother's Day—the right to stop the madness.-" Raina Kelley, Newsweek, May 8, 2009

Who Are The Lost Ten Tribes of Israel?

Are they the ten that formed the Northern Kingdom of Israel, everyone except Judah and Benjamin, and were later scattered?

 

Are they the ones we don't really know where their descendants are (from patriarchal blessings, actual genealogy, etc.)?  Everyone except Ephraim and Judah?

 

Are they the tribes that are neither Reuben (lost his birthright) nor Levi (birthright became temple service)?

 

Or are they ones we don't have records of, everyone except Judah (Bible) and Manasseh (Book of Mormon)?

 

Or are they the people who don't believe in Christ because "true believers in Christ, regardless of their lineage or geographical location" are of the House of Israel? (Bible Dictionary)

 

Try asking this question in Sunday School.  It becomes a mess of theories.

Where Does Three Months Go Overnight?

I should try sleeping less. 


(For a blurry wish-we-had-a-different-camera-and-a-better-photographer view of the last three months see 1000 Words a Day.)

Just When You Think It Can't Possibly Get Any Worse

Your husband puts his knee through the sunroof. 

No stitches necessary.

Just a lot of duct tape.


This van is good for my funny bone. 

When Am I Going to Be Old Enough...

...to Not Care If Anyone Sees Me Running?

Not to run faster when someone is watching?

And not suck in when I wear a swimming suit?

Not to throw things into a laundry basket and hide them in my closet before someone comes to my house?

From a woman who lived to be 92:

"Fifty was my favorite age. It takes about that long to learn to quit competing--to be yourself and settle down to living. It is the age I would like to be through all eternity." Marjorie Pay Hinckley

How many books is too many to take for a week in Mexico?

I've decided on ten, plus the scriptures and a Spanish dictionary.

On second thought, I think I'll leave The House of the Seven Gables for when I get home.  It looks like the cover may fall off. 

The Worst Feeling in The World

is yelling at your kid just before they go to school.


And It's Worser

to yell at them in public just before they go to school.


And It's the Worstest

to find out when they come home that they are sick and were probably acting like rotten kids because they felt crummy and that that's probably why you were acting like a rotten mom, too. 

He's got fame.

Now all he needs is fortune.

(see my 13 year-old husband in this video:)
http://www.woodbusiness.ca/component/option,com_seyret/Itemid,143/id,78/task,videodirectlink/