NIGHT ONE

I thought that nothing could be worse than cleaning up the hot dogs that look identical coming up to going down.

NIGHT TWO

It turns out, though, that cleaning up digestible foods is significantly worse than cleaning up indestructible ones. 

vig·il /ˈvijəl/

noun

1. 

a period of keeping awake during the time usually spent asleep, especially to keep watch or pray

 

 

there's something about a nighttime vigil with a sick child

when you can relax into it.

something sweet about the silence

something inviting about the comforting

something lovely about it.

 

unless you're worried

or scared

or hopeless.

then it's something completely different. 

 

Darn It!

Sometimes several years can go by and it feels that life is much the same as it has been.

But other times,

Naomi looks like a woman and smiles confidently as she leaves for high school.

Marko runs off to his kindergarten line because he already knows where it is.

And the game of pretending that Lucy is still a baby gets a bit ridiculous as she tells me that "Technically if a peregrine falcon didn't have wings it wouldn't be a bird." 

Darn those other times, when I realize that this stage is slipping away. 

I didn't know last night...

...that it was their last day as little guys
sharing a pink and blue room
with a rocking chair.
I didn't know
when I tucked them in
that today they'd move on
to big bunk beds
and separate rooms.

Darn Craigslist
for having a great deal
on bunk beds that matched
Chas's bedroom set.

Honesty

Honesty, for me, sometimes gets all muddled.

I wonder if honesty should be sacrificed in my fight against cynicism.

And I wonder if "fake it 'till you make it" is a reasonable, albeit dishonest, strategy for optimism, good parenting, wisdom, charitable service, and many other of my pursuits. 

I hate fine lines, grey areas, and muddles.

Umm...I mean...fine lines, grey areas, and muddles are an opportunity for growth and I'm grateful when
they come my way.  See?  so peppy, it's just downright dishonest.

(PS--"Muddles" is what Marko calls "puddles."  Whenever we put on his monkey boots he says, "Now I can jump in Muddles.")